I can't handle it

I really thought I can but truth is, the more I try, the more it makes me harder to do so. I still think about the past. I still wish that he call me every night. I still wait for him to text me saying 'I love you'. But that just brings me back to reality that he will never do that anymore. He moved on so fast. And gone back to her. Well not literally but who knows right? Time will tell everything sooner or later, like it or not. I really thought I have moved on but why do I still feel like butterflies in my tummy whenever he text me? Exactly. Means that I have not yet. I see her name on his page makes me jealous actually. Yes, I am being very honest about my feelings. You can't hide from what you feel, right? Well, thats what I'm feeling now, jealousy. I know that I can do better but than, what if you gave your heart for that someone? What if you still want to have that feeling once more? And sad to say, you can't have it back. Thats why it's call memories. She was your first, she was the one and only for you last time. And when I came, I was just being your backbone and helped you continue to live forward. Than when you don't need me anymore, you just left me. Maybe I'm just being ironic but still, thats how I felt the moment you let me go. I actually have moved on but its just that, when I saw her name on you page, that just tears me apart. Why? I have no idea. Even my name you never put anymore. That felt like I've been push down a building for than once. Hrm.. fine. I just can't wait to start a new life. NEW LIFE!

xxx

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